Today is International Day of the Girl. And I have something to say about it.
I will not fight my boyfriend to open the door myself (I actually love when he does it), I love when he gives me a hand to support me when I step off the bus, I don't get defensive when he pays in the restaurants when we go out, I realize that it is his way of showing he cares about me, I love the idea of being a little weaker when there is someone stronger near me. And yes, I can open the door myself, and I can pay my own bills, I can do everything myself, but I like the idea that I don't have to and once in a while I can let someone else help me or take care of me. It's actually kind of a game. But everything changes when we talk about career and work environment.
I'd like to go back to 7 years ago when I first got to the United States and I got the first job in IT. Don't get me wrong I loved it, I had an amazing and supportive manager, who actually taught me a lot and I'm very grateful to him. He partially made me who I am today. But every single time I met a new person I had to prove that this 12 years old looking girl actually has a brain and knows what she is doing. Every client site had a person or actually the whole team who would look in a way: "Really? Her? No way!" It definitely felt weird, even offensive at times, and then I learned the cycle. They are suspicious and defensive, even aggressive at first. And then when I "magically" solved their problems, next thing I knew they would love me and would not want to let me go. I think it's called "earning a reputation". I mean, obviously, every person in the world have to prove they worth something before people around actually accept them, but it's much harder to do if you are a young looking female and, I dare to say, not ugly looking one. I went back to school and there, again and again, I had to prove the same. Next job. I thought: "Now I won't have to prove anything to anyone! I have experience now." WRONG!!! Every single day I have to prove that I know what I'm doing. I have coworkers who would rather ask another male coworker for help than ask me for advice. No, I'm not a bitch or a mean person, actually, my whole team knows that I always try to help and make everyone's life easier. In the beginning, I kept offering help. And then I realized it's not a problem with me. They have a real problem of being embarrassed to ask me for help like somehow it will make it beneath them. Well, what can I do in that case? I guess I already proved the point to them.
It's very sad that in 21st century in the United States of America - greatest country in the world, when a lot of women became successful and proved that the world they worth it, there is still company where my friend complains to me every single day that her team lead is a real dick to her. And guess what? No one can do anything about it. Human Resources? Oh please.
I really hope it's not going to take another century for some people to realize that we don't have to have dicks to be smart and able to accomplish great things. It's not a competition!
I will not fight my boyfriend to open the door myself (I actually love when he does it), I love when he gives me a hand to support me when I step off the bus, I don't get defensive when he pays in the restaurants when we go out, I realize that it is his way of showing he cares about me, I love the idea of being a little weaker when there is someone stronger near me. And yes, I can open the door myself, and I can pay my own bills, I can do everything myself, but I like the idea that I don't have to and once in a while I can let someone else help me or take care of me. It's actually kind of a game. But everything changes when we talk about career and work environment.
I'd like to go back to 7 years ago when I first got to the United States and I got the first job in IT. Don't get me wrong I loved it, I had an amazing and supportive manager, who actually taught me a lot and I'm very grateful to him. He partially made me who I am today. But every single time I met a new person I had to prove that this 12 years old looking girl actually has a brain and knows what she is doing. Every client site had a person or actually the whole team who would look in a way: "Really? Her? No way!" It definitely felt weird, even offensive at times, and then I learned the cycle. They are suspicious and defensive, even aggressive at first. And then when I "magically" solved their problems, next thing I knew they would love me and would not want to let me go. I think it's called "earning a reputation". I mean, obviously, every person in the world have to prove they worth something before people around actually accept them, but it's much harder to do if you are a young looking female and, I dare to say, not ugly looking one. I went back to school and there, again and again, I had to prove the same. Next job. I thought: "Now I won't have to prove anything to anyone! I have experience now." WRONG!!! Every single day I have to prove that I know what I'm doing. I have coworkers who would rather ask another male coworker for help than ask me for advice. No, I'm not a bitch or a mean person, actually, my whole team knows that I always try to help and make everyone's life easier. In the beginning, I kept offering help. And then I realized it's not a problem with me. They have a real problem of being embarrassed to ask me for help like somehow it will make it beneath them. Well, what can I do in that case? I guess I already proved the point to them.
It's very sad that in 21st century in the United States of America - greatest country in the world, when a lot of women became successful and proved that the world they worth it, there is still company where my friend complains to me every single day that her team lead is a real dick to her. And guess what? No one can do anything about it. Human Resources? Oh please.
I really hope it's not going to take another century for some people to realize that we don't have to have dicks to be smart and able to accomplish great things. It's not a competition!
