Today's article won't be like anything I posted before. It's not going to be about flying the plane or skydiving, or accomplishing something amazing, not going to be a travel journal either. I usually don't post this kind of very emotional stuff, it stays in my head or best case scenario in my drafts.
While reading I would suggest listening to the following song:
Did you know that you can find the statistics online for everything, but not for the question: "How many hearts get broken per day?" The best answer I found was: "Yes It's True. Relationships start, they go through a magical phase, then they get finished (some last forever, lucky are those), People separate and hearts get broken. But after some time they get healed. It's a process." The list of related questions:
- How do you stop loving a person who has hurt you and broken your heart so many times?
- Can a broken heart get back to heal again?
- Why does my heart hurt so bad when I get my heart broken?
- Does it normally take two years to get past a broken heart?
- What's it like to get your heart broken?
Etc.
Funny thing, we think Google knows everything. But not when it gets to the heart-related stuff. No one knows the exact answer. It's a very personal topic and a very personal process for everyone.
I really want to answer to the person who is wondering "what's it like to get your heart broken?". "Dude, I wish you never have to figure that one out." A couple years ago dealing with my own broken heart I found the article about the research that doctors did on that topic. And a broken heart is not just a fancy phrase for acting like crazy, not being able to eat, crying all the time, stalking the person who did that to you, complaining to everyone about it, and wishing it would stop hurting already. And oh yes, it hurts like crazy. Physically. A lot. It's an actual syndrome. "People with broken heart syndrome may have sudden chest pain or think they're having a heart attack." says one of the articles online. Imagine having a non-stop having attack. Is it really something that you want to know what it is like?
That's pretty much the only 100% exact answer to one of the question. The rest of the answers
get blurry. Let's go in the decreasing percentage order:
- Does it normally take two years to get past a broken heart?
Total BS. It takes as much as you need to heal. A couple years ago someone told me, that it takes
half of the amount that you were together. I naively was counting days and hours and minutes down
till that moment. No surprise that miracle didn't happen. Right? It can be 2 years, it can be 10 years.
You'll be 100% sure you are healed and happy, and then you ran into that person again. And your
"heart attack" feeling is back. I guess the truth is, you can get past it, but the small piece of your heart
is lost forever. Sometimes the piece is not that small either.
- Why does my heart hurt so bad when I get my heart broken?
Good question. I think the answer is because you are human, and humans have feelings and emotions. And I guess the part about the process is also true. First, it hurts really bad, then just bad, then maybe not so bad, and one day hopefully the pain goes away at least if nothing triggers it again. Also, everyone is different. Some people are less emotional, they get upset for a couple days, maybe have a couple drinks, maybe have sex with the stranger, and the next morning they are ready for a new adventure (relationship). Some are not that well skilled in this particular area. And they keep banging they are head against the wall in very bad attempt to let it go, but still holding on to what made them happy once. I'm personally, very unfortunately, one of those people too. But now, having to go through that more than once, I know, that one day I'll wake up, knowing it's not so bad anymore, and I just have to be patient and wait for this moment to come.
- Can a broken heart get back to heal again?
They say that time heals. The truth is it doesn't, but It does make it less painful. But that's enough to be able to become happy by finding the peace with yourself or maybe let someone else into your life. And possibly that someone will break your heart again. It's kind of a circle, I guess. Till someone magical appears and decides for both of you that he/she wants to spend the rest of your lives together, so no one else can hurt you anymore. But we are all adults and well aware even that can turn out bad eventually.
- How do you stop loving a person who has hurt you and broken your heart so many times?
No idea! I wish to know the answer to this question myself, so I don't end up scaring everyone around, by losing so much weight all over again. Joking...(or maybe not) It is so much easier if there is kind of recipe:
- 1 glass of vodka (or 20, let's be honest, and yes glass, not a shot),
- 10 cigarets (or 10 packs of cigarets)
- 30 dates (or just unmeaningful hookups)
- unlimited shopping
or the healthier option:
- gym every day
- spend a lot of time with people you love and who love you back unconditionally
- find a new hobby
- still unlimited shopping
Actually, it all might work. With one condition. If you have enough power to tell that asshole to f..ck off and not regret it a minute later. But then you would still have to go through all the stages of healing from a broken heart. The right answer to that question would be: Remember to love yourself more than you do that jerk, whoever he is. You don't want to see people you love getting hurt, right? Why do you let to hurt yourself? How do you think it is for other people around you, like you mom, you sister/brother, your close friends, etc. to see how you let someone to hurt yourself over and over and over and over again? Are you a masochist? No? Then it is time to let it go...